5 Self Love Truths

What is Self Love?

It’s a simple concept right? Just love yourself. But why is that so hard? How are we so willing to give love away to others not to ourselves? Love is used to sell books, movies and products all over the world, in every language but when we aim that love and affection towards ourselves we risk being labeled as selfish or vain. 
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I learned A LOT about self love when I worked in the beauty industry. And even more when I began helping women connect with their Inner Goddesses. Here are 5 truths you should know about self love this Valentines Day.

#1 - Self Love comes from within.
Love is the most valuable currency, and in an age when we are so used to instant gratification, the time it takes to develop love for yourself takes too long. Its importance got lost through time. We have found the easiest way to get love is from another. But its important to note that the love from others is no substitute for the love you give yourself, its wrapped up with conditions and pressures that don't naturally exist in love. Another person is not capable of giving you all the love you need. It must come from you, in the thoughts you think to yourself.

#2 - Learn to fill your own cup
This comes down to your capacity for love. Like I said earlier, love is like currency, the love that you get from others can be received and reciprocated. Meaning if someone gives you love, you feel good enough for the moment to pass that love to someone else. But this just leads to a never-ending chase for love, acceptance and validation. Lets use the empty glass concept. “You cannot fill from an empty glass” So you seek love and attention from others to fill your cup, then you have love to share. But the love you get from others is only a little. So you begin sharing this love when there's not a lot to give in the first place. This is where self love is different. Self love overflows your cup. You don’t need anyone's help and the supply is plentiful. So there is more love to go around

#3 - Small things make a big difference.
You might view self love as taking a day at the spa or the beach, getting your nails done or buying something you have been wanting. You are right, taking the time to do those things is Self Love. But its a lot of other things too. It’s taking the time to enjoy your coffee, or stepping away from an unwanted conversation, ignoring a phone call or choosing a healthy snack. Lighting a candle or washing your face. Having a realistic expectation for what Self Love actually looks like makes it easier to include in your day.

#4 - You are not Vain, Selfish or Narcissistic for prioritizing your needs.
Its one thing for me to explain why self love is important. Its another thing when we think about why there may be trouble in the first place. Being told we are selfish invokes this deep shame around prioritizing our needs. Its like the needs of others are more important. This can make us feel unworthy and insignificant. Its a vicious cycle that you can break by turning down the noise of the outside world and turning up the volume of your inner voice.

#5 - You are enough
You have made it to #5 on your quest to fix your self love problem. Well I am going to stop you as you nod in agreement. You don’t have a self love problem that needs fixing. There will always be areas in your life that you will want to improve on but you are not broken so you don't need fixing. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Realizing that you are perfect with your imperfections and accepting this as truth is the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself. Let go of the IDEA that self love should look a certain way and just keep doing what feels good. That's enough.

This month inside The Happy Tribe we are honing in on our self love and we would love for you to join us. Click here for more info.